Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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