I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
