you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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