im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
