I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
