Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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