i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
