It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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