love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
