I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just invented taco cereal.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
