Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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