I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
