I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
