There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
