My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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