It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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