Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize
