dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
