first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
