i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
