When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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