Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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