Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
