Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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