Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
