I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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