My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
