It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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