no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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