Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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