THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
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My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
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if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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