They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its liver damage thursday
Randomize