Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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