whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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