that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
