Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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