I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
