actually, I'm a sock model
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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