Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
