he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
