ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
