I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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