if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
