I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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