imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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