he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
