I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
