I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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