She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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