Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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