She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
