Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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