You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
