First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
They took my balls.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
