So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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