so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
