The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
