dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
