I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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