she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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