Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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