This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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