I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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