they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
