I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
